A girl asked a boy if she was pretty, he said “No”. She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever, he said “No”. Then she asked him if he would cry if she walked away, he said “No”. She had heard enough; she needed to leave. As she walked away he grabbed her arm and told her to stay. He said “You’re not pretty, you’re beautiful. I don’t want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. And I wouldn’t cry if you walked away, I would die.”
There was a girl who loved a boy so much she said to the boy, “If I told you that I liked you, would you take it as a joke?” The boy said. “Yes I would.” She asked, “Why?” The boy replied, “Because I know you don’t like me, I know you love me!”
Me and my boyfriend were out to dinner and there was an older couple sitting near us. All of a sudden I heard the older man say “Remember when we were like that?” I looked at my boyfriend and we laughed and giggled. When I turned back around, my boyfriend had aring in his hand, and said “I can’t wait until we’re like that!”
There was a girl who was playing in the park when she saw a photo in a bush. She kept the photo but forgot about it until she was married. Her husband asked who that little boy was in her wallet. She answered; “My first love.” Then the husband smiled and said, “I lost this picture when I was nine years old”

 

It was the day of the big sale. Rumours of the sale and some advertising in the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed by 08:30 that morning in front of the department store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colourful curses. On the man’s second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line, “that does it! If they hit me one more time, I won’t open the damn store!”

***

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy; “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

***

 

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day.” The cop said. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

 

***

Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine’s day, he couldn’t help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes. By now Mike’s curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards. The man replied, “I’m sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?'” “But why?” asked Mike. “I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replied.